Mothers and Daughters

With the passing of my mother on August 19, 2009, I have become a part of a group of daughters who have lost their mothers. It doesn’t matter when your mother passed, it could have been two weeks, two months, two years, or twenty years or any time in between, there is a bond that binds you for a moment in time and the tears flow freely. I still cannot say “My mother passed away” without crying, so it is hard when we meet face to face for me to tell you why at that moment I am sad. I believed that with the passing of time the sadness of the loss would lessen and that is a mistaken notion. You go on daily about your everyday life and then something will remind you of your mother, or you think I need to tell my mom about this she would love to hear about it and you go to pick up the phone and of course she’s not there to answer the call. You feel the same feeling of loss all over again. You do move on with life and go about your business, but the sadness at the loss of your mom is always with you and at different times you think about her.

I will miss the time I could pick up the phone and call and talk to my mother about anything and everything. I will miss the time that she would call me and tell me it has been too long since I called home to check in and that she was just checking on me. Even though I have children and grandchildren my mother would still call and check on me, and what a comfort that is, to have that “Unconditional Love” from my mom. I know that my mom still loves me and that now her feet don’t hurt her, she doesn’t hurt when she stands up, she is not getting injected three or more times a day and that she has a freedom she has not felt in years and this does bring me comfort. She is also reunited with her mother and the others in her family who have passed away.

I am deeply grateful to my mother for teaching me about my Danish heritage. I love passing on to my children those same traditions that were always a part of my years growing up. Danish pastries, Christmas is just not Christmas without Danish pastries, ask my children if they don’t believe the same thing. Ableskevers, breakfast, lunch or dinner is always a good time for Ableskevers. Frikadeller, is another Danish meal that my children love. I love the Danish Christmas Plates that now hang in my home from my mother. I love that she taught me to sew, knit, crochet and I love to do these things. I also have in my home the counted cross stitch pieces that I did for my mother as another reminder of her. I also love to quilt which was a gift from my grandmother (my dad’s mom). I love that she taught me to love my Heavenly Father and my Savior to put those things in my life that will make me the happiest. It makes me think of all the things that our moms and grandmothers do for us in very small ways.

I now look at my own daughters and hope that I have passed on to them the same traditions and more that my mom passed on to me, all those family traditions, which make our houses homes of love. I also want to pass on to my children the tradition of a strong gospel centered home where you know that you are loved, and one last thing please remember to check in with your mom, because I too love you unconditionally.





PS. Jacob thanks for your strength the night that your dad called to tell me that my mom had passed away.

Look out here comes another one

It has been a great month. Of course what makes it great is that Paul was home for most of it. I love it when Paul is home with us. We also went to AZ to spend Christmas with family and that was great fun. We all got together on Christmas Eve for our FHE and the focus on the Savior. We then opened gifts from each other and the granddaughters received presents from their Grandparents. Our youngest granddaugther Milan loves shoes (takes after the girls in the family). When she visits at my house she gets out my shoes and walks around in them. So for Christmas this year we gave her shoes. She now owns her own pair of high heels (well as high as the dress up shoes you can buy). She was so excited for the shoes and she is such a girl when it comes to things like that. We got Heaven our other granddaughter a purse from the mammal store in DC. She will not find anything like it and we filled it with lip gloss and nail polish. I have to admit it is more fun to shop for the granddaughters. We spent the week visiting family and on Saturday we had a Harris family get together to celebrate our parents 80th birthdays this year. Bar-b-que chicken and lots of other food. We ate so much this past two weeks that when it comes time for dinner we all look at each other and are not much interested in finding something to eat.

We spent New Years Day together as a family (those that were in New Mexico) and had a Mexican Fiesta including homemade tamales from our daughter-in-law. Time is growing short and on January 5 I have to put Paul back on the plane to DC and that is such a bummer, but he already has his ticket for the flight back in May for Jacobs graduation on the 23rd. Jacob also is now 18 and we took him out for dinner and gave him the you are now an adult speech. One high note also this last month is that Jacob received his patriarchial blessing and that was such a great experience that Paul and I had with Jacob. It has been a busy month and now that a new year has begun I am grateful for the blessings in my life.

Wow #2

Everyone thinks that I should bring this blog up to date. I have been harrassed by my daughter and now my neice. For example Lisa wrote on my facebook wall:

Lisa Marcell Harper at 2:15pm October 13
I'd be upset if I was in NM too. I don't blame you. And, by the way, your blog is sucking it up! maybe you should post occasionally!

And Kirsten is on me constantly to update my blog page. She likes to call and ask “so, when are you going to update your blog” I don’t have the time I used to it seems I have a lot more on my plate right now. My job now is much more demanding of my time. So for all of you who think that I should write more here you go. I didn’t know that I was going to have to keep everyone updated on what was going on, so I make no promises on how often I can write and keep this blog updated. I am also not a big writer.

Some great things that have happened since last I wrote. Jacob completed his eagle scout project last Satureday and will be having his eagle ceremony in December when his dad gets home. We are really proud of him for accomplishing this goal in his life. Now Tyler needs to do his eagle scout project, and is on the hot seat to get that accomplished.

We had lightening strike so close to our house that it lit it up for a few seconds and blew several things in the house. Our satellite dish blew plus two receivers, a phone, the DSL box, our printer and recently we had to have the heater board replaced, we found that out when it got cold. All of this has not been a fun time, I hope I have found all the things that needed replaced. I am not looking forward to that happening again. For those of you who have heard that lightening never strikes in the same place twice that is a joke. Move to New Mexico and you can watch it strike in the same place all the time. This is the second time that lightening has struck close to us. Last time it took out the transformer in front of the house.

I am heading off to AZ for training and meetings. I like the chance to go to AZ I get to see family and especially the granddaughters. So I am still on the frequent flyer miles plan that has not changed. Paul was also in AZ for a few days for a project and he was able to see family and to bring Bre’s car to NM for us. She was in an accident about a month ago. She was hit by a “hit and run driver” which they caught and arrested. He was pulling a flat bed trailer and did not leave room for his trailer when he moved into her lane to pass a slower car. He side swiped her into the middle cement barrier with the flat bed trailer he was pulling and the guy behind her was not paying attention and hit her from behind. The guy who started this chain of events did not have a driver’s license or insurance which is always the case with these New Mexicans. His passenger was also and illegal and both were arrested. We have been dealing with this little problem for several weeks now.

OK, this is all you get this time I can’t guarantee when I will be writing again. Busy, busy woman here, I am better with the pictures on facebook than writing what is going on.

First one

Kirsten has informed me that I needed to get with the program and start blogging. Here is the attempt.

It is going on two years since Paul took a job in DC. I have become a frequent flyer and have flown across country more times than I care to count. We are still working on this one. To say the least this trial in our lives is getting old. We miss each other greatly and really enjoy the time we have together. I honeymoon with my husband about every two months for 10 days or more. In March Jacob, Tyler and I flew out too DC for spring break and toured for 2 weeks in DC, Gettysburg and Williamsburg. We all had a fantastic time and there are pictures of our adventure on facebook.

My employment life also changed in February 2008 as the attorneys I work for joined a law firm that is based in Phoenix, AZ and my job changed. I also fly to Phoenix on average once every other month and sometimes more. I am now an employee of Morris Hall and Kinghorn, Estate Planning Attorneys who have offices all over Arizona, Nevada and now New Mexico. One thing is for sure I have learned the art of flying and navigating airports. After many years of dropping Paul off and picking him up at the airport for his job related travel the shoe is now on the other foot. He rarely travels and I am constantly at the airport it seems. Someone is always having to drop me off or pick me up at the airport.

One thing I have learned over the course of the last few years is that life is constantly shifting around me.