Monday, August 31, 2009

Mothers and Daughters

With the passing of my mother on August 19, 2009, I have become a part of a group of daughters who have lost their mothers. It doesn’t matter when your mother passed, it could have been two weeks, two months, two years, or twenty years or any time in between, there is a bond that binds you for a moment in time and the tears flow freely. I still cannot say “My mother passed away” without crying, so it is hard when we meet face to face for me to tell you why at that moment I am sad. I believed that with the passing of time the sadness of the loss would lessen and that is a mistaken notion. You go on daily about your everyday life and then something will remind you of your mother, or you think I need to tell my mom about this she would love to hear about it and you go to pick up the phone and of course she’s not there to answer the call. You feel the same feeling of loss all over again. You do move on with life and go about your business, but the sadness at the loss of your mom is always with you and at different times you think about her.

I will miss the time I could pick up the phone and call and talk to my mother about anything and everything. I will miss the time that she would call me and tell me it has been too long since I called home to check in and that she was just checking on me. Even though I have children and grandchildren my mother would still call and check on me, and what a comfort that is, to have that “Unconditional Love” from my mom. I know that my mom still loves me and that now her feet don’t hurt her, she doesn’t hurt when she stands up, she is not getting injected three or more times a day and that she has a freedom she has not felt in years and this does bring me comfort. She is also reunited with her mother and the others in her family who have passed away.

I am deeply grateful to my mother for teaching me about my Danish heritage. I love passing on to my children those same traditions that were always a part of my years growing up. Danish pastries, Christmas is just not Christmas without Danish pastries, ask my children if they don’t believe the same thing. Ableskevers, breakfast, lunch or dinner is always a good time for Ableskevers. Frikadeller, is another Danish meal that my children love. I love the Danish Christmas Plates that now hang in my home from my mother. I love that she taught me to sew, knit, crochet and I love to do these things. I also have in my home the counted cross stitch pieces that I did for my mother as another reminder of her. I also love to quilt which was a gift from my grandmother (my dad’s mom). I love that she taught me to love my Heavenly Father and my Savior to put those things in my life that will make me the happiest. It makes me think of all the things that our moms and grandmothers do for us in very small ways.

I now look at my own daughters and hope that I have passed on to them the same traditions and more that my mom passed on to me, all those family traditions, which make our houses homes of love. I also want to pass on to my children the tradition of a strong gospel centered home where you know that you are loved, and one last thing please remember to check in with your mom, because I too love you unconditionally.

PS. Jacob thanks for your strength the night that your dad called to tell me that my mom had passed away.


Anonymous said...

I love you too MOM. I loved what you wrote. Grandma was an amazing women that stood strong in the gospel and loved unconditionally. I check in with you all the time and will continue to do so.

Bryan said...

Aunt Tina, I was saddened to hear about your Mother. Our thoughts and prayers have been with you and will continue to be with you. We love you!

Lonna said...

Tina, that was a beautiful tribute! Your Mom would be so proud of you and of your family and how they have handle her death. She does live on in all of you.

Kirsten and Steve Bloomfield said...

Oh Mom!! That was a great blog. I loved it. Grandma would have loved it.